Happy Day

It has been a wonderful day when you live in a place that has 330 days of sun you so look forward to day like this. I just love days with clouds.

Moms

I was inspired by a Mom of other blog http://foothillhomecompanion.blogspot.com/ to write this. I enjoy reading all the blogs I follow mostly of other Moms and thier memories of their children. My children are grown and now I have a grandchild. As a Mom and now a grandma I have come to see our (Moms) role alittle different we are the memory keepers good and bad. We take the bad and throw them to the four winds and good we continue to share so that our grandkids can know them. So to all the Moms out there keep your memories, share them thats our jobs. Thank you all for sharing them with all of us out here.
Until later
Holly

Family

A few weeks ago we had a house full our son Jim was here and my in laws stayed with us it was so nice to have everyone here. It was the first time they got to see K. Jim, Grandma, Tata, and Desi

Jim and K

Tata and K

Granny and K

And of course K was at the center right where she like to be. We all spin around her.

Until later

Holly

Daddy

My Dad passed away today I knew it was going to happen soon my grandmother had been letting me know he was ill. My Dad was not always a nice man in fact he could be mean, hurtful, and he was an alcoholic. For all his faults he did have some good points he made me laugh he could cook like no one I have ever seen in fact he taught me. The best fudge came from his hands. He took me on my first of many things like my first date, my first corsage, my first diamond, and my first dozen roses. Our song is Daddy don't you walk so fast by Wayne Newton. I got my love of trivia from him no one was a bigger bull sh-ter than he was. Half the time I didn't know what was true and what was not. He gave me pride in who I was and the people I came from. I loved him I may not have always liked him but I did love him. So for now I will light my candle to honor him and say my prayers. I hope that he has the peace he could never find here.

This is your Brain.

This is Drugs.

This is your brain on drugs. Got to love my drug of choice. I have my fix taken care of for awhile.

Holly Days

Reflections

I thought I would share some of the things I'm learning after my time of reflection (Yom Kippur). This year has been a tiresome one.
I have so many thoughts running through my head, God has been showing me so much. Trying to sort it all out facing truths can be hard at times.You know all this time I thought that if you didn't grow in a positive way you weren't growing. I know now that's not true it is possible to grow in a negative way as hard as it is to believe it can happen. I'm just now seeing it. When you learn something that will move you forward in a direction that is of God it often comes in leaps, like being hit by a train. You stand back and go WOW why didn't I see that sooner. Truth/growth can be like that it only happens when your ready for it only then POW it happens.
How unlike negative growth it's so subtle that you never notice it. You make adjustments, make excuses not realizing that this is only enabling the negative growth, That through anothers negative growth you yourself are growing in a negative way. You slowly have become someone you don't know, your lost, your someone you don't even really like anymore. So now the journey begins out of the pit of negative growth. I can already see that it will be painful in some ways, I know there will be some relief as well. I so look forward to getting to know the women I lost so long ago. I have missed that free spirited women who loved life in a way I've never seen before. But it took me a long time to lose her it will take awhile to find her again. I so want K to meet her. Wish me luck on my journey.
Until later
Holly

Past

With Sukkot now over it's so sad that I didn't get to celebrate it. Wate would have just made it so hard to enjoy. I wonder why Wate makes things so hard doesn't he see that he misses out on so much. I have come to see that anger robs you steals everything that is important and convinces you that if only everyone would stop making them mad and just do what you say they wouldn't be anger anymore. So this Sukkot was a sad one even if we didn't do anything. I always seem to have this sadness of pity for Wate since I know there may came a day when he sees what his anger has done and it will be to late or even sader that he'll see it and not care.
I really wanted to go camping this year but oh well. I hope next year I'll get to do something I want K to have some holidays. Even if I don't get to be with her on those days.
Until Later
Holly

Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur

This time of year is always special for me. I have tried to use this time for reflection. How has my life gone this past year? What can I change, where do I need to grow for the New Year. Who have I wronged do I need to make amends someplace. This year is even more special I have quit smoking over 30 days by the time Rosh Hashanah gets here over 40 at Yom Kippur. I feel this is a good number 40 has a lot of importance to it. I'm looking forward to the future. It funny it's like I can feel change coming some good some bad. I'm as ready as I can be. The New Year is looking good for me and mine.
Until Later
Holly Days

New Moon

Even though New Moon isn't a holiday per say but it is a time of celebration. A time for for may things for it can mean as little or as much as you want. For me each month it's gaining more meaning. With New Moon just a few days away I look forward to this one more than any other. I'm on the path to new beginnings. I have been on this path before and have slipped off it only to find myself lost on my journey. But by the grace of God he gives me something every month new moon, new beginnings or what I like to call Gods idea of a do over. So I'm back on my journey. As I start on this path I can see the light at the end of the tunnel which I haven't seen in a long time. I hope that by the next new moon I will have figured out some way to truly honor this time of the month. I love the holidays and of them all this one is my favorite. I think it's because there is a connection between women and the moon. The Sages say that Rosh Chodesh (new moon) was given to women because of the whole golden cafe thing we didn't want to take part in that party. If I had a sofar I would surely be blowing it in a few days. May we all enjoy a new beginning.
Until later
Holly

Max

My dog here in the middle of this heat he wraps himself up in his rug he's a nut.


Here he is trying to fit through the cat door he doesn't like it if he can't be right next to me at all times.
Until Later
Holly