Sunday, October 18, 2009


I thought I would share some of the things I'm learning after my time of reflection (Yom Kippur). This year has been a tiresome one.
I have so many thoughts running through my head, God has been showing me so much. Trying to sort it all out facing truths can be hard at times.You know all this time I thought that if you didn't grow in a positive way you weren't growing. I know now that's not true it is possible to grow in a negative way as hard as it is to believe it can happen. I'm just now seeing it. When you learn something that will move you forward in a direction that is of God it often comes in leaps, like being hit by a train. You stand back and go WOW why didn't I see that sooner. Truth/growth can be like that it only happens when your ready for it only then POW it happens.
How unlike negative growth it's so subtle that you never notice it. You make adjustments, make excuses not realizing that this is only enabling the negative growth, That through anothers negative growth you yourself are growing in a negative way. You slowly have become someone you don't know, your lost, your someone you don't even really like anymore. So now the journey begins out of the pit of negative growth. I can already see that it will be painful in some ways, I know there will be some relief as well. I so look forward to getting to know the women I lost so long ago. I have missed that free spirited women who loved life in a way I've never seen before. But it took me a long time to lose her it will take awhile to find her again. I so want K to meet her. Wish me luck on my journey.
Until later


Anonymous said...

What you wrote struck me profoundly. I think we are on a very similar journey; I had never thought about negative growth before but it does make a lot of sense. Good luck on your journey.

Holly Days Closet said...

Good luck on your journey as well.